Snow day today, which was nice — although truth be told I wasn’t going to go to class. I’m not sure what my problem is right now. I’m so restless. I blame having spent the day in the house couped up with my grandparents but I’ve been feeling this way lately and not just today.
I think it’s alot of things. I’m not stressed about money now, but the apartment and Amanda and school have me stressed enough. Even if it’s just the idea of needing to worry over it – it’s all so overwhelming.
I’ve kept my promise to myself. I haven’t signed in as her, even though she told me that she and Lelia had a fight yesterday and that she’s steering clear of her so things blow over. I don’t know what that means — I’d love to find out but unless she’s going to tell me, there’s no reason I need to know. We won’t get to meet this week, I’m nearly positive now, although I was holding out hope before but I can see now that it’s not feasible. Having missed rehearsal tonight, she’s got less than a week to pull the entire show together – she’s going to be a wreck and god only knows who she’s lashing out at next. I would be there for her if she’d let me, but whatever.
On a bright note, my mom, my sister and I are going to see Beauty and the Beast tomorrow night which I’m really excited about. It’s my favorite Disney princess story because it’s one of the only ones where the girl doesn’t need to be saved, and in fact, she does the saving herself.
Posted in Journal
Tagged amanda, beauty and the beast, cabin fever, conflict, family, grandparents, gwen stefani, lelia, life, reality, restless, snow
I might throw up.
I can’t even summarize their conversation – it’s too sappy and disgusting from Amanda. And she calls her lovie and puppy. I just hate her.
So Jen did invite me to her party tomorrow night. And I’m seriously considering going. The following things play into this (in no particular order):
– Amanda is going.
– Amanda was going to take Nicole and/or Lelia but neither are going now it seems
– Amanda told me she was planning on getting shit drunk but just told Lelia she wasn’t going to drink too much.
– Amanda plans to watch the sunset on the beach.
– Weez and Laura are going and might drive her. They have plans supposedly for her.
– I candidly asked Weez to make sure Amanda was ok and safe and didn’t do anything stupid. She said she would — and I’m like 90% sure I believe her.
– Amanda blocked me on FB chat and hasn’t spoken to me since a txt this morning saying she fell asleep last night. I did cave around 2:30 and ask how her day was going – no response.
– Jen said she doesn’t care if Amanda doesn’t want me there, it’s not her party.
– I work till 10:30ish so I’d be going from there and be fashionably late. Amanda might well be drunk by then.
– Not sure if I wanna stay over, I might not drink at all.
– What the hell would I wear? I don’t have a toga. Continue reading
Posted in Conversations, Journal
Tagged amanda, black out drunk, choices, drinking, duffy, jen, lelia, parties, toga party, weez