Tag Archives: florida

and even though, your clothes were on and everything…

I spent the day packing for Florida, I’m so fucking excited! I think it’s taken a bit of time for it to get through my head that I’m really going, this will be the first actual vacation I’m taking alone. I’m the sort of person who always plans going places with friends or something (read: Vegas for Kay and my 21st in may) but plans never pan out or it falls through or there’s no money. In short, so excited. I spent the day parading around the house in shorts and summer tops and checking out my ass in my favorite jeans.

Aside from the fun of sorting through my clothing, I had a rather dry day, not bad by dry. I watched some TV. American Idol cracks me up immensely and although I’ve never followed a season before I’m really going to make an effort to try this time. Besides, Ellen is going to be on, why wouldn’t I want to follow??

Project Runway also started tonight, woohoo for being back in NYC where the show belongs. Fuck Lifetime for screwing that up last season – and I’m sorry but Irina should not have won, Carol Hannah all the way!!! I joined the Tim Gun fanpage of FB, it was necessary. I am also completely in love with Heidi Klum. She is so adorable with Seal, it would be nauseating if it wasn’t so sincere. There’s a really nice article about her in this month’s Style, check it out.

I watched the new SVU – omfg I love Olivia Benson immensely. And that’s not biased because I love Mariska, I love them equally and separately and together etc. I also love Elliot because he’s such a good guy, and I love Dr. Wong – hell I love them ALL.

I’ve got Biggest Loser to catch up with, although I’m not sure how religiously I’ll keep up this season. Jersey Shore was on tonight as well, and guilty pleasure or not, I’m super excited to see what happens next. It’s so wrong and I love it. I ought to be ashamed of their portrayal of Italian Americans (a group which I 75% belong to) but apparently the amusement I gather from watching trumps said shame. According to FB my Jersey Shore nickname is Sookie, which of course makes my evening (Sookie Stackhouse anyone? ^^).

And apparently by ‘some tv’, I meant alot. I won’t prattle on, I’m going to probably watch a movie or read one of the books I got last night while I was out with Amanda. Borders is going out at the mall and everything was like 60-80% off. I bought 3 books, notecards and berts bees lipbalm for under $12. Such a steal.

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black dress, with the tights underneath…

I took Em to the movies tonight to see It’s Complicated with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. The movie was fantastic. The entire theater was roaring with laughter at some parts and Em loved it too I think, even though it was rated R. The woman at the counter got extra huffy with me and needed “to see some ID” so we could get in. I don’t actually think I’ve ever been asked to show ID to see a movie for godsake. Not to mention, there really wasn’t anything deplorable in the movie for it to be rated like that. The movie was directed excellently with real attention to detail as far as character development and circumstance (and Jane’s home is fucking fantastically gorgeous).

Anyway, Jane, the main character, ends up having an affair with her ex-husband who is now remarried. The two spend the first half of the movie hooking up unbeknownst to their children after their son graduates from college in New York. Things get more complicated when Jane starts seeing Adam, her architect who is played by Steve Martin.

Although humor runs amuck throughout the movie (really in a good way – Adam listening to self-help tapes as he picks up Jane is a good example), I really started to connect with Jane. I know I’m not a 50 year old divorcee with three kids and an ex-husband I’m fooling around with, but I understand what it means to love someone but know that the two of you won’t work out together. I felt really old next to Em, who was convinced Jane would end up back together with her husband – an ending she didn’t approve of and neither did I – but somehow I sensed that wouldn’t be the case. Rather than an awful cliche Hollywood ending where the kids are peachy with their parents getting back together after ten years of being divorced (which took a toll on the family), the two remain friends. It wasn’t sickeningly sweet, it was real and I can appreciate that.

That’s all I want, I want to be friends. I want to sit on that swing, and know that its okay that things are complicated, because I can still love her and not be with her. It might hurt, it’s not easy, but it becomes part of you every day. I feel like I’ve aged in the past week or so – I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Related (of course) would be the text message I got from Amanda during the movie about how she’d just seen Paranormal Activity and was scared shitless out of her mind. We’d talked earlier today about when we’d meet to talk and agreed on Wednesday at Chilis near her house. I’m somewhat apprehensive about seeing her to have the conversation I know we need to have. I reread my entry about what I wanted to say to her and I know its the right thing to do.

I just don’t understand her though. At 11:30ish she told me she’d probably be up all night talking to me because she was too scared to sleep. She then asked if I was home so we could FB chat. I said I was out with Em (which I was) and that I’d be home shortly, this was at around midnight. Then her reply text is that “ur the best drive safe” – which struck me as odd but I sort of just blew it off. When I got home, FB had unanswered messages from her, saying she’d probably be sleeping by the time I got home, not to be mad at her.

And then she said she “can’t wait for lunch wednesday”. I can’t decide if I think she was high/drunk or serious. What does that even mean?

I think I’m just reading too much into this.

Unrelated to that entirely, I told my parents I was going to Florida to see Carlos and my mother’s first question out of her mouth was who was I going with. The absurdity of that question only begets an absurd answer that I was going down with Harry and some friend Liz I pulled out of my ass. I think it would probably be worse if Harry and I were going to see Carlos, talk about three being a crowd.

heaven can wait…

So I just booked my tickets to Florida to see Carlos for 5 days! I’m rather excited I’ll admit. I think it’ll do me good to be in the sunshine away from everything for awhile. However, I also think that I need to set some ground rules with Carlos when I get there because I don’t want my insecurities ruining our friendship, no matter how much I might like him.

I have a bad track record. I was thinking about it the other day and I realized just how bad. Let’s number them shall we?

1. We’ll start with Donald, since although there were a few boys before him, nothing ever really went anywhere (not that it did with him, just I was really young). I flirted shamelessly with Donald in order to get to his best friend Dan (who wasn’t interested). Eventually I told Don that the friendship was really a sham, I wanted Dan, thus crushing Don and ending our friendship for awhile. We do still speak (Dan and I don’t) and I know Don would do anything for me if I asked him to.

2. Ian. Ian and I met at a summer Biology camp. He asked me to be his girlfriend but I told him I had to wait until I was 16 (another year). He waited that year, fawned over me, took me to his junior prom that I essentially invited myself to, came out to dinner with my parents. I told him I didn’t feel the same way about him that he felt about me, thus crushing him. We don’t speak, although I have since apologized.

3. Chris. Brittany had dibs on Chris, he was her friend, she knew him, and I really didn’t care because he was hot shit. Nothing ever came of the two of us but I was certainly using him.

4. Mike. Mike was my first boyfriend and was head over heels in love with me. We dated for three weeks before he told me he loved me. I broke up with him after a dance and never gave his DVDs back. He had a reprise a few months later but nothing ever came of it. We sort of speak now, but I get more of a kick out of messing with his head.

5. Jon. Jon has an interesting story behind him. We met online and there was flirting etc. for a few months. I eventually discovered he was actually my cousin. He’s now married with two children and his wife most likely knows about what happened. She hates me, we spent much of Christmas Eve together at a very awkward family party. The kids are adorable.

6. I suppose Amanda would come next in this set of people I’ve used to feel better about myself, and in the process ruined our friendship.

7. Sean. We met in college at a leadership seminar. Things were going really well in our friendship until one night he invited me over to ‘watch a movie’ and ended up taking off his pants. He did apologize but we also do not speak and he avoids me.

8. Jo’An. We worked together for awhile at the theatre. After Amanda and I broke up this summer, we hung out at his house. Essentially, I told him I was better than a booty call and have avoided his advances since then.

9. Cory. We worked together at Sbux for about a year. He’s a sweetheart and things probably would have worked out. However, during another ‘movie watching’ session, being slightly high caused me to call him Amanda (I think?) and he hasn’t talked to me since then.

10. Harry. I met him second semester of freshman year and I knew he had a crush on me. We worked together at the helpdesk. We didn’t talk for awhile after he transfered but this fall we reconnected and he cheated on his girlfriend with me. I currently haven’t seen him in two months, although I’m talking to him right now. He’s blown me off twice in the past few weeks.

I’d really prefer that Carlos wasn’t #11 on this list of which I’m not really proud. Even if I don’t count Amanda (although I think it’s probably safe to say that friendship will never be the same again), Carlos would still be tenth in a long line of conquests, most of which have occurred since Amanda and I started dating, which is very odd.