That title tag comes from her new blurb on FB. V-Day she blew me off so I dropped off the book and boxers and a ‘happy valentines day’ card at school on her car. Apparently Steph took it off for some stupid reason and Amanda got it the next day. It’s been lost in the booth with everything else she owns and won’t be seen probably till next week when she cleans it all out after the show is over.
Em and I went to the movies last night – I cant’ believe it was a whole day ago now. We saw Valentines Day and of course I bawled; typical. Since then I’ve been completely out of sorts. I can’t focus or stay on task. I’m endlessly restless although I did do calc homework today so that was a bonus. However, I didn’t make it to the gym or Target or anything else I needed/wanted to do.
Work tomorrow after Calc at 8am. I’m supposed to see Edward tomorrow nite, they opened tonight. I txtd her a congrats/goodluck but she didn’t get back to me till about a half hour ago. I wasn’t even sure if I was still going to attend since she’s completely blown me off for the past two weeks (really for nearly the past month) and we didn’t confirm. Now we’ve confirmed I’m going, but she wants to ‘play it by ear’ as far as me taking her out afterwards. Which in Amanda speak means she’s going to blow me off if something better comes along or if she doesnt wanna deal.
And I fucking hate it. This has to stop.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged amanda, being blown off, CALC, dating, edward, emotional, going out, homework, Michael Franti, movies, presents, relationships, restless, screwed up relationships, valentines day
No one from work last night wanted to go out — well wanted to go out with me, which hurt my feelings a little. Perhaps tonight but I’m going to try and not count on it. I of course made the mistake of inviting her with a little – We’re going out if ud like to join us after u get out. The response was somewhat positive with a who, where, when and then I think she really thought it out and decided she was going to go home instead. I told her plans had fallen through but I was probably going to go out anyways, even if it meant by myself. Her response was that she didn’t think it was very safe but I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself I said.
Besides, I went out with Jess anyways. We ended up at MB around 1am since it took me so long to get ready. We had fun though, doing makeup and picking outfits. She ended up having more of a fun time than I did since she made out with this kid named Al while dancing. He asked for her number – I’m not sure if he’s a regular there and a creep but I said she could at least text him the next time we went to see if he’s around. Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged amanda, best friends, dancing, dating, duran duran, edward, emotional, friends, friendship, giving up, going out, jess, just friends, kissing, lesbian, life, love, MB, memories, more than friends, moving on, open relationships, reality, relationships, screwed up relationships, the future, thinking outloud, valentines day
Went to see Beauty and the Beast tonight with Em and mom and it was OMG FUCKING FABULOUS! It’s always been my favorite fairy tale and the story just gets me everytime. I basically cried through most of it. I just really identified with Belle who didn’t fit in and wanted so much more from life than what was planned for her, what people expected from her. Once she’s in the castle, she sings a song called Home which I know by heart and I just bawl every time I hear it.
Posted in Journal, Photos
Tagged amanda, beauty and the beast, disney, emotional, fairy tales, feeling understood, finding yourself, fitting in, growing up, kris allen, life, love, musical, princesses, reality, review, romance, the future, thinking outloud, true love, valentines day, video