Tag Archives: amanda

all i want for you to be is happy — or something

Worked tonight then hung out with Jess for a bit. We were going to see the new movie The Runaways with Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett and Dakota Fanning as Cherie. Total lesbian movie let’s be honest people. So I bought tickets for the 12:15am showing on Friday April 9th — which any normal person would assume to occur at midnight between Thursday and Friday. Well so we show up at the theater and they’re closed. So I’m a little more than miffed. If they meant midnight between Friday and Saturday then they should have written 12:15 am on Saturday. Stupid fuckers, seriously.

Instead we got Wendys and I took her to crescent park to sit by the beach. It was actually really a mild night and we had a lot of fun. I did have some moments down memory lane walking past the spot where Amanda and I first kissed and just thinking about how much has happened to me in the past four years. Life really is one hell of an adventure.

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ain’t no rest for the wicked…

I really wish you weren’t at hookah and that we could talk. There are alot of things I want to run by you that I have to decide quickly about that are difficult for me. I wanted your help and I’m sad that you can’t be there.

I’m also a bit jealous you’re out and I’m at home. It’s St. Patrick’s Day — I want to be out with friends partying — and I don’t have any friends to be out with. It’s weighing heavy on me. All I do is work – schools not even a huge thing for me and it’s not like I have friends in my class.

Kay’s not talking to me, things with us just fell out after she screwed me over at the apartment. I’m not quite lost, perhaps just wayward or unsure. There’s lots for me to consider and sift through as far as thoughts and choices go.

the best luck i had was you

That title tag comes from her new blurb on FB. V-Day she blew me off so I dropped off the book and boxers and a ‘happy valentines day’ card at school on her car. Apparently Steph took it off for some stupid reason and Amanda got it the next day. It’s been lost in the booth with everything else she owns and won’t be seen probably till next week when she cleans it all out after the show is over.

Em and I went to the movies last night – I cant’ believe it was a whole day ago now. We saw Valentines Day and of course I bawled; typical. Since then I’ve been completely out of sorts. I can’t focus or stay on task. I’m endlessly restless although I did do calc homework today so that was a bonus. However, I didn’t make it to the gym or Target or anything else I needed/wanted to do.

Work tomorrow after Calc at 8am. I’m supposed to see Edward tomorrow nite, they opened tonight. I txtd her a congrats/goodluck but she didn’t get back to me till about a half hour ago. I wasn’t even sure if I was still going to attend since she’s completely blown me off for the past two weeks (really for nearly the past month) and we didn’t confirm. Now we’ve confirmed I’m going, but she wants to ‘play it by ear’ as far as me taking her out afterwards. Which in Amanda speak means she’s going to blow me off if something better comes along or if she doesnt wanna deal.

And I fucking hate it. This has to stop.