the best luck i had was you

That title tag comes from her new blurb on FB. V-Day she blew me off so I dropped off the book and boxers and a ‘happy valentines day’ card at school on her car. Apparently Steph took it off for some stupid reason and Amanda got it the next day. It’s been lost in the booth with everything else she owns and won’t be seen probably till next week when she cleans it all out after the show is over.

Em and I went to the movies last night – I cant’ believe it was a whole day ago now. We saw Valentines Day and of course I bawled; typical. Since then I’ve been completely out of sorts. I can’t focus or stay on task. I’m endlessly restless although I did do calc homework today so that was a bonus. However, I didn’t make it to the gym or Target or anything else I needed/wanted to do.

Work tomorrow after Calc at 8am. I’m supposed to see Edward tomorrow nite, they opened tonight. I txtd her a congrats/goodluck but she didn’t get back to me till about a half hour ago. I wasn’t even sure if I was still going to attend since she’s completely blown me off for the past two weeks (really for nearly the past month) and we didn’t confirm. Now we’ve confirmed I’m going, but she wants to ‘play it by ear’ as far as me taking her out afterwards. Which in Amanda speak means she’s going to blow me off if something better comes along or if she doesnt wanna deal.

And I fucking hate it. This has to stop.

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