heaven can wait…

So I just booked my tickets to Florida to see Carlos for 5 days! I’m rather excited I’ll admit. I think it’ll do me good to be in the sunshine away from everything for awhile. However, I also think that I need to set some ground rules with Carlos when I get there because I don’t want my insecurities ruining our friendship, no matter how much I might like him.

I have a bad track record. I was thinking about it the other day and I realized just how bad. Let’s number them shall we?

1. We’ll start with Donald, since although there were a few boys before him, nothing ever really went anywhere (not that it did with him, just I was really young). I flirted shamelessly with Donald in order to get to his best friend Dan (who wasn’t interested). Eventually I told Don that the friendship was really a sham, I wanted Dan, thus crushing Don and ending our friendship for awhile. We do still speak (Dan and I don’t) and I know Don would do anything for me if I asked him to.

2. Ian. Ian and I met at a summer Biology camp. He asked me to be his girlfriend but I told him I had to wait until I was 16 (another year). He waited that year, fawned over me, took me to his junior prom that I essentially invited myself to, came out to dinner with my parents. I told him I didn’t feel the same way about him that he felt about me, thus crushing him. We don’t speak, although I have since apologized.

3. Chris. Brittany had dibs on Chris, he was her friend, she knew him, and I really didn’t care because he was hot shit. Nothing ever came of the two of us but I was certainly using him.

4. Mike. Mike was my first boyfriend and was head over heels in love with me. We dated for three weeks before he told me he loved me. I broke up with him after a dance and never gave his DVDs back. He had a reprise a few months later but nothing ever came of it. We sort of speak now, but I get more of a kick out of messing with his head.

5. Jon. Jon has an interesting story behind him. We met online and there was flirting etc. for a few months. I eventually discovered he was actually my cousin. He’s now married with two children and his wife most likely knows about what happened. She hates me, we spent much of Christmas Eve together at a very awkward family party. The kids are adorable.

6. I suppose Amanda would come next in this set of people I’ve used to feel better about myself, and in the process ruined our friendship.

7. Sean. We met in college at a leadership seminar. Things were going really well in our friendship until one night he invited me over to ‘watch a movie’ and ended up taking off his pants. He did apologize but we also do not speak and he avoids me.

8. Jo’An. We worked together for awhile at the theatre. After Amanda and I broke up this summer, we hung out at his house. Essentially, I told him I was better than a booty call and have avoided his advances since then.

9. Cory. We worked together at Sbux for about a year. He’s a sweetheart and things probably would have worked out. However, during another ‘movie watching’ session, being slightly high caused me to call him Amanda (I think?) and he hasn’t talked to me since then.

10. Harry. I met him second semester of freshman year and I knew he had a crush on me. We worked together at the helpdesk. We didn’t talk for awhile after he transfered but this fall we reconnected and he cheated on his girlfriend with me. I currently haven’t seen him in two months, although I’m talking to him right now. He’s blown me off twice in the past few weeks.

I’d really prefer that Carlos wasn’t #11 on this list of which I’m not really proud. Even if I don’t count Amanda (although I think it’s probably safe to say that friendship will never be the same again), Carlos would still be tenth in a long line of conquests, most of which have occurred since Amanda and I started dating, which is very odd.


5 responses to “heaven can wait…

  1. Pingback: Game Changer/Getting Played « boys&books

  2. Can I just say, no offence, that you’ve crushed quite a few guys over the years.

  3. Good points, I think I will definitely subscribe! I’ll go and read some more! What do you see the future of this being?

  4. Sometimes it’s really that simple, isn’t it? I feel a little stupid for not thinking of this myself/earlier, though.

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