I don't really want to be the Queen…

I keep going to write something down and deleting it. Things are just confusing right now I think. I always journal when I have something to sort out but for all my stress and confusedness right now, there isn't too much I can actually put into words.

I haven't been able to write poetry in nearly a month. It's pathetic. I crapped out a medicore quartet last night and a few pages of shit. It seems I've given Miss Amanda my ability to write as she fills the journal I gave her and I can't even put two coherent sentences together.

Thank god my application went out yesterday. I don't think I could take having to worry about more right now. I'm strangely calm about it all and I can't figure out if things are finally going to settle down and go smoothly from here or if there is a storm just on the horizon I can't yet see…

EDIT
Right, so on an entirely different note, got my SAT scores back this morning. Apparently my pre-test ritual is exactly what I needed. 2050 baby. SAT IIs on Saturday, repeat.

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