tell me that you want me —

Work sucks. I really, really hate my job. Which is sad because when it all comes down to it, it's honestly not that bad, it's really the people that I work with that I hate.

Christiana has such a stick up her ass I can't believe it's not coming out her nose. I can't figure out what the hell her problem is. Aside from her, Lauren is a space cadet, Breena is a ditz, Kerri is a pushover and April has the charm of a rattle snake. I think Ace is the only one keeping me sane. He goes on about my boyfriend and I just sort of smirk and say nothing. This is what I get for telling him that it's my lover whom I'm leaving voicemails for on break. Which is entirely true. Just not my boy lover. Yeah I dunno, I'll probably tell him eventually. Then the girls will just have one more thing to not talk to me about.

Erin came to visit me today. More talk of being stressed. I can't really figure out what's stressing them all — applications are bad but Jesus, they aren't that bad. I'm more socially stressed than academically and all I can hear them whining about these days are essays and SATs and what's due when. Well this coming from the girl who just finished her Lifestyles project a half hour ago and it's on its way to the printer's. Mom is going to drop it off for me tomorrow since it's due by 1. I'm basically owing her my life.

Yesterday had an interesting thought about just telling her about Amanda and I while at dinner with Em. It just sort of came up, the idea of same sex couples as we were checking out the two young men standing near us. And it seemed like a good segue moment, but I floundered. Part of me wants to stick to the plan: wait until I'm out of the house and break it to her slowly. Another part of me can't stand her not knowing because I was brought up to spill my guts about everything to them. I don't want them to know this right now. This is mine, our relationship is mine. It's not something they have the right to, she doesn't have the right to control my relationship.

I'm thinking maybe there's more to my not telling her than the fact that she'd flip a shit about me having 'lesbian tendencies'. If you missed it, this is me rolling my eyes.


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