Glass House

If this is love
Then I’m in love with khaos
Spelling confusion with a k has become my in tents moment
I never was a speller
But you always knew that anyway

I wonder if a typo led you to that marked discovery
But then again c is nowhere close to k
But you and I seem closer than ever
And you know how scared I am
But I don’t think that’s what’s stopping you

I could see your reflection in the window
Your hand on your leg
My hand was falling asleep
Why did you bring me those twizzlers?
You know my hair isn’t long and blonde

I wish I knew how to write you sonnets
Or more poems with meaningful words
I wish I had done a thousand things
And I wish I could take a thousand more back
Starting with pulling into that parking lot

Maybe if I cry this can all be over
But I won’t let myself cry over you
If I do then I’m admitting to this
I’m guilty
I’m living with a sin I want to live with

You let me ramble
And took the rap for being late
Its 10:04 and you won’t return my call
It was 11:06 when you told me
At 11:17 you had memorized but there was nothing written on those pages

I wish I had never read those sharpie words
But the printed ones haunt me more
Your blue hazy closet lights match the tears I won’t cry
There are words I’ll never say
Now I realize they aren’t words you want to hear

I can sit in the movies with you all night
But I’m too tired to contemplate what this all means
I’m too scared to think about what we’re feeling
Because if I admit to this there is no turning back
If we do this, it changes everything

And I’m not in love with you
Curiosity
Eventually you’ll want to know what it tastes like
And hell, I want to know what you taste like
But I don’t play this side of the game

I only need to see you once
I need to give you something that’s yours
Close my eyes and jump
Maybe if I push you too hard I’ll push you away
Maybe if I step too close you’ll do it for me

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t read it
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t intend to
But hell I can’t lie to myself anymore
So maybe if I give in
Then I can break my glass house
And start living again.

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