he's what i go to church for

So I went to that thing at church. And I'm really glad I did, aside from the political or social obligations involved I'm really glad I went. Of course he was there, my altar-turned-lectern boy. Came in late so while Mike's dad was talking I could stare at him across the room. He flipped his hair in that annoyingly female way that drives me insane for some reason.

So he grabs a green plastic chair and of all the places he chooses to sit, its beside me. He made me nervous the whole time and perhaps it was only my imagination but I could swear he might have been looking at me. He kept adjusting his seat and he was fixing his pant legs and of course as Father Matt is telling a story of his own personal faults all I can think of are his hands on my legs and not his own. Needless to say I was a bit distracted by his presence beside me.

I think we spoke our first words. He sneezed and I said “Bless you.” He thanked me and that was it. Rather pitiful but perhaps we'll someday work up to a full fledged conversation. I think he must know that I stare at him during mass or know that I've seen him around. He gave me a weird look after we broke for cake and I couldn't tell if it was a “Hey I know you”, “Hey why were you staring at me” or “Hey you're in my way” sort of look.

All this small obsession aside, it was a really good time. Spiritually enlightening. I'm glad I went, aside from my Devin Shiff adventures.

And then there is the Boyfriend. Not mine of course, but Mary's. I can't help but wonder if its wrong that I was online talking to him until three in the morning last night. And that I'm talking to him now. I don't think I'm flirting with him — or rather I hope I'm not. I can't help but get the impression that I'm doing something I ought not to be — and yet I don't think I care even if I am…

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