Home is Where the Heart Is:

Guilt is wreaking havoc on my conscious. I went to the library this week, I wrote about three sentences of my story — in short, I have gotten little shit done since these tennis lessons have started. Not to mention that I am unable to concentrate, especially today, seeing as how one mucho guapo muchacho was my partner……damn he’s smokn’

Anyway, on more reality terms, I have yet to call Elle back, (I actually dunno why, but it shall come to me eventually) and I feel guilty. As a matter of fact, I have talked to nearly no one this summer. Watch, I’ll show up at school in August a new woman (wow, that would be great huh?)

I did get some really good reading in however. Firethorn – new, dunno who it’s by, but it’s a kick ass book. Something Mary Amaralt would read, but hell, who gives to hoots? And now I should like someone who swears often, which I must admit to my dismay, I have taken up as of this summer, which isn’t good, but could be worse methinks.

I feel so detached from the world. I’m not sure what my problem is, (I was trying to blame PMS, but I have my period and I STILL feel like this, so I doubt that is the cause. However, that was the cause of my upchucking earlier in the week. But I digress……

I have to do some writing for my RPG, since it’s been like, oh I dunno, 3 WEEKS since I last posted…I feel really bad….oh, and I’m listening to my favorite Cds as of now, since I had to go out and buy a new sound card, because I think my sister broke the last one with her dinky little computer games….Nonetheless, I am in rather high spirits…..

And I’ve been thinking about Ian’s proposal more and more, and I don’t know if I’m ready to have a boyfriend yet….after all, my eyes have been wandering since I last saw him — luckily I have a little while before I have to make a definitive decision…

– Ciao Bella


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