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you & me & the sky

i can't wait for you to shut me up

Overslept, no class this morning for me. Hate myself. I worked and made $46 but made a large deposit at the bank because I hadn’t been in three weeks. I then went to Target and bought clothes (although I just went in there for an alarm clock – except I didn’t know it needed batteries so it’s not going to do me any good tomorrow either).

I conned Jess into coming out to hookah with me and then Johnny Rockets tonight. We just had some bonding time – it was nice. We talked about Alex, this kid in the lab she TAs for that she’s into who is 23 – which is huge for her since they are usually jailbait. I talked about Amanda. I talked about what’s been going on and how I’m feeling and shit. I talked about how, when at Target, I bought her a pair of Valentine’s Day boxers – I really do have a problem.

In so far as Valentine’s Day goes, everyone gets so bent out of shape about it, I don’t understand. The past three years I’ve had a Valentine (my girlfriend) except not once have we actually celebrated together because she’s been working or we’ve had school or whatever. Once again we won’t be celebrating – she’s working, I’m working and oh yeah right, we aren’t anything to each other to be celebrating. Other than that though, Jess has it marked as Single’s Awareness Day on her calendar  and I think it’s a bit much. Being single isn’t anything to be ashamed of and frankly the fact that the media and commercialized society make it out to be a negative thing and rub it in the faces of everyone without a Valentine that they ought to be lonely and unhappy just suck hairy monkey balls. So there.

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11:30 AM me: hey, i hope you’re feeling better from the other night. have a good class and a productive rehearsal. try and remember to take a deep breath, you can handle this. don’t let them stress you out. the shows gonna be great.
11:39 PM a: Thnx for the email!
11:40 PM me: i cant decide if i think ur being sarcastic
but either way ur welcome
11:41 PM a: i was really thanking you
11:41 PM me: :)

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I don’t want to know what they’re talking about, I haven’t looked. We spoke Saturday night when I asked how she was feeling but that was the last time. I’m not going to be the one – she has got to make an effort. She said she wanted to get together this week. If she can make the time for me, I’ll do it. If she can’t even be bothered to text me to ask how my day was or a simple email, I don’t know where this leaves us. In two weeks, when her rehearsals are over and she’s suddenly got time for me, does it change things?

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Ive decided that im going 2 jens. Im not sure if this is a good idea bc i feel A will b pissed or might have sex. no inbetween ):

I might throw up.

I can’t even summarize their conversation – it’s too sappy and disgusting from Amanda. And she calls her lovie and puppy. I just hate her.

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